Wednesday, February 24, 2021

 

Reflection of Our Lady of Mount Carmel:

And we are here.  It goes without saying that the last two years were nothing short of unpredictable.  Nothing that any of you or I could have imagined would have lived up to the preverbal fiction novel we have all been living through since December 25, 2019.  Nothing could have prepared me or any of us for the multiple events, both in our professional and personal lives, which we have endured over the course of these past 15 months.  If I am to be honest, I have asked several times why God brought me here to OLMC.  This question still remains however, I do feel that I catch glimpses of the answer at times and they seem to be clearer than before.

Coming into a new school and position; taking the controls of many new processes, policies and procedures; I remember my excitement for this opportunity.  I had utilized and amended a plan for development and structuring/re-structuring at previous organizations that I was confident would be able to fit here at our organization.  I had planned to take in observations over the first semester while laying the groundwork for any necessary changes that would have needed to be made.  And then, it all went in the trash in one phone call. 

Navigating the following weeks at OLMC was nothing short of unsettling only to be compounded by the loss of another child close to my own family in January a few short weeks later.  As I continued to move forward, many days in a slight haze of directional decision and uncertainty, I continued to take comfort in the belief that the worst is obviously over.  March 13th, 2020.  Just a few days removed from one year ago, was the day the world seemed to stop moving.  I can safely say that they didn’t prepare me for this in graduate school.  The ensuing confusion, fear, uncertainty and division going on in our school systems, as well as the world, alone was enough to prompt multiple teachers and administrators to settle for unwanted and untimed resignations however, these same issues within our own school only added to an already extremely difficult and uncertain situation. 

The following five months were filled with never-ending meetings and phone calls, often well into the night, attempting to salvage what was left of, and develop the groundwork for the upcoming school year.  Of course, like anything during situations such as these everyone seemed to have suggestions as to what would be the best though none of us had any experience in extreme matters such as these.  The balancing act between the best interests of 112 school families, and my own family became an almost impossible task and so, just as many of you experienced, it was my family that suffered.  As the ever changing development process, what would/could be accepted and what would/could not, pushed on each day it was like attempting to navigate a preverbal minefield without any idea where/when the next explosion would take place.  To say it is difficult to attempt to justify an “equality” in the parent who is upset that their child isn’t getting playing time on the ballfield with the teacher who lost a family member is an gross understatement yet, that has been the charge; to give an equal understanding and consideration to any and all concerns that hit my office, phone, email and even home at times.  How does one even do this during the most normal of times I wonder and yet, here we are, attempting to navigate that which has so often seemed unnavigable. 

July 11, 2020.  Even preparing for the inevitable departure of a friend and leader would not dull the confusion and pain that would be faced afterward.  Not only was this all going down seemingly at once without any answers, but I now felt like I was all alone in the decision making process for both a parish and school that I was just barely familiar with.  As we limped into August with a plan in place and a million new procedures, checks and policies, the realization that we now have to make this work, we must make this work began to sink in.  Sticking to the plan was the only option and doing so for the sake of not letting all that so many people had done, so many sacrifices made, be in vain.  As administrators we felt we owed this to our students, our families, and our teachers.  The only thing left to do was allow the roller coaster to move and be prepared to make sudden-change decisions from here on out.

As we moved along in the 2020-2021 school year filled with some residual discontent with the processes developed over the summer, our school families mostly began to settle in to the new routine and the feeling of acceptance and almost happiness that our students were finally back in school began to take precedence over what previously was a collective notion of fear and uncertainty.  Finally, it seemed, we were moving toward where we needed to be and at the very least, OLMC offered a refuge to the still uncertain events and division that was fueling our outside world at that time. 

Aside from some problems out of leftfield and the occasional positive COVID exposure resulting in shutting down classrooms here and there, we sit one year later and I’m wondering, how much smarter will we be through these experiences a year from now.  Only time will tell the full impact endured from the events that took place over the course of the previous 15 months here at Our Lady of Mount Carmel.  There is still so much I have planned to do, so many promises, areas that I intend to address and several different ideas as to how to help grow and sustain our wonderful organization.  However, I’m honestly not sure how much I have left.  I truly understand why Thoreau decided to go off to Walden’s Pond to seek “truth rather than love or money.”

One reoccurring thought has entered my mind throughout all of these experiences during the past 15 months and this thought brought me to a realization; I need to stop wondering why.  I finally stopped asking why God brought me here to OLMC because the answer is completely irrelevant.  Regardless of His reason, I am here and I have a job to do.  Perhaps the previous 15 months is exactly why I am here; perhaps it is something that will happen over the next 15 months; regardless, it doesn’t matter.  I have lived an up and down journey all my life, some 43 years of valleys and mountains, from my personal “top” to my personal “rock bottom” and throughout all of it never questioned God’s plan.  I realized that there is no reason to be questioning it now. 

My prayer is that we all have hope.  We may be uncertain at times and that uncertainty may seem too much to overcome during those times however, it isn’t.  Hope is a wonderful thing and it is given to us through faith, trust and prayer. This is how we travel on.   It’s interesting that when contemplating writing this, I looked at a poem I placed on my mirror some eight or nine months ago entitled “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost and realized, much like the author, I realize we have miles to go before this is over.  “The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.” 

-Mr. Swann

Friday, February 5, 2021

 Reflection for February 5, 2021:

Niceness vs. Kindness…

It’s difficult to understand the difference between someone being nice to us, and someone being kind.  I had this conversation with a couple of our students earlier this week as they were expressing their concerns with someone not being “nice” to them about a particular situation.  We all often use the words nice and kind synonymously however, as I said to these particular students, it’s important to distinguish the two.

Nice makes us, and others, feel good.  It’s pleasant and often works well in the short-term.  Being nice helps avoid arguments and it’s polite.  Kindness however, means doing/saying what’s best for someone even when it might not sound “nice” in the moment.  Kindness takes much more effort than niceness.  At times, kindness can even seem “mean”.  Often we mistake kindness for meanness because someone didn’t let us get our way when in all actuality; they were trying to protect us. 

Not pushing your teammate when you know they aren’t giving 100% may be nice, but letting them waste their talent isn’t kind.  Buying your kid what they want to soothe his/her feelings may be nice, but allowing them to control your decisions and not teaching them delayed gratification isn’t kind.  Not saying anything when a co-worker is unknowingly making mistakes at their job is nice, but letting them continue to mess up isn’t kind.  You get the picture.  It’s nice to be “nice” but it’s more important to be kind.  Maybe if we could curb our own arrogance enough to learn from other people’s experiences and expertise, we would grow in both understanding and respect.

The truth is, most times when we are nice to someone it really isn’t about them at all.  It’s about us and our distain to have hard conversations or our need to avoid potential conflict.  It’s scary to consider the consequences of holding people accountable.  We don’t want to make things “uncomfortable”.  The truth is, if I were nice all the time in my position, I wouldn’t be doing a very good job however, I can remain kind throughout even if that kindness means it may be a little more difficult for me. 

Receiving kindness isn’t always easy either.  Most of our young athletes want to be told how good they are doing not have it pointed out when and how they are messing up but let me ask you, which one is going to make them better?  Many people don’t like to be told they are wrong even when they are or, that their viewpoint is merely that because often, they don’t have all the information needed to make an informed directional decision.  This isn’t their fault it’s circumstantial however, it would be nice to simply agree and move on yet it doesn’t do much for their understanding. 

Jesus was kind but He wasn’t always nice.  I don’t remember him asking the disciples what they would prefer to do.  Jesus was concerned with growing His church not about protecting everyone’s feelings.  Being nice is generally about choosing our comfort over someone else’s growth and ultimate happiness which, isn’t really that nice to be honest, it’s selfish.  Not only do we need to choose kindness over niceness, we need to learn to accept kindness over niceness out of love and respect for one another. 

Mr. Swann – Principal